1. Whispers and Screams
2. Looking For Answers
3. Making a Deal
4. Pretending
5. Competition
6. Regaining Confidence
7. Communication
8. Hearing and Listening
9. Helpless
10. Houseguest
11. What's Happening?
12. Blood and Tears
13. Blind Ambition
14. High Stakes
15. Intervention
16. Longing to hear you
17. In A Heartbeat
18. Betrayal of Trust
19. Death Wish
20. Denial and Acceptance
21. Déjà vu
22. Drained
23. Coming Clean
24. Living For The Moment
25. Helplessly, Hopelessly...
26. ...Reckless
27. Prophetic Future
28. Never Again
29. Revelations
30. Finding Answers
31. One Of Darkness, One Of Light
32. No Holds Barred
33. Dare to Forgive
34. Love Bites
35. Can't Take My Eyes Of You
36. Tender Heart
37. Beyond Anger
38. Tough Love
39. Talking It Out
40. Cost of a Choice
41. Breaking The News
42. Prophecy Girl
43. A Lifetime Of Happiness
Chapter
16 – Longing to Hear You
Giles was surprised when the door opened to reveal Buffy. Her eyes were
puffy and bloodshot, her skin was pale, and dark circles shadowed the
delicate skin under her eyes.
“Hi, Giles,” she said in a weak voice, stepping aside to let him in.
Crossing the threshold, Giles closed the door and followed the Slayer into
the living room. His frown deepened when he watched her curl up on the
couch, wrapping a blanket around her small form as if she was trying to
protect herself.
“How are you?” he asked softly, not really needing an answer, since she was
doing a fine job of letting him see how she was.
“I feel alone, Giles,” she whispered, knowing that she could be honest with
him. “And I know what you’re going to say,” she continued, cutting him off
as he opened his mouth to reply. “You’re going to tell me that I’m not
alone. That I have friends and family who care about me and want me to be
safe. That I’m strong enough to face anything, but…I’m not,” she
murmured.
“And Spike made you feel as if you weren’t alone? That you didn’t have to
do this by yourself?”
Buffy nodded looking down at the floor, not trusting herself to respond.
Touching her hand to get her attention, Giles gave her a soft smile. “Do you
love him, Buffy?”
Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly when she realized the
question
wasn’t accusing and surprisingly wasn’t judgmental. He merely was asking a
question, expecting an honest response. “No,” she whispered, shaking her
head. “But there’s something…there’s something between us and I can’t
explain it. Giles, I can hear him…I know it sounds strange, but when he
speaks to me, I can hear him. And now he doesn’t want anything to do with
me and…and it’s just this emptiness again. Just this void of nothing, and
I’m all alone.”
“And you feel like this all the time?”
“Yeah,” Buffy whispered, nodding slightly. “I don’t know what it is. Is
it
because I’m the Slayer and have to rely on so many senses? Is it because I
wasn’t born this way and now I have to adjust? I just don’t understand.”
Pausing for a moment, Buffy let a brief smile flash on her face as she
looked at her Watcher. “Who would have thought that silence really is
deafening?”
Giles smiled at the comment, relieved to see a small part of the Slayer come
shining through. “But the silence speaks as well.”
“Now you’re going to get all proverbial on me.”
“You started it,” Giles said with a grin as Buffy smiled. His face soon
turned into a hard mask as he looked down at his hands, making sure that
Buffy could still see his lips moving. “What if I was to tell you that it
wasn’t Spike’s decision to stop patrolling?”
Staying quiet for a long moment, Buffy shrugged. “He made his choice.”
“What if I were to tell you that he was threatened by someone? Someone whom
you know very well, that if he doesn’t stay away from you, he will have to
pay the consequences?”
“Riley?” Buffy asked, her eyes widening in disbelief as Giles nodded.
Taking a deep breath, she turned her head away from him, trying to get her
thoughts in order.
“Riley threatened to kill him unless he stopped patrolling with me?”
“That’s what I was able to get from Spike.”
Buffy was off the couch in a flash, practically running for the door, not
giving Giles a second look as she ran from the house.
* * * * *
“Buffy,” Riley said with a surprised smile as she walked through the door.
“What are you-“
“You son of a bitch!” Buffy screamed, restraining herself from slamming her
fist into his nose.
“Whoa, what’s wrong, baby?”
“Don’t you dare ‘baby’ me, you bastard!”
Riley was trying to ignore the insults, noticing the tears that were
swimming in her eyes. “Talk to me, Buffy, tell me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong!
What’s wrong, Riley, is that you don’t care
about me!”
“That’s not true, I love you.”
“If you loved me, why would you threaten Spike?” she asked, crossing her
arms over her chest.
His eyes widening in understanding, Riley hurriedly tried to think of
something and decided that a version of the truth was his best option. “He
was getting too close to you,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I was
worried something could happen to you.”
“Like what?” Buffy asked through gritted teeth.
“What if…what if he hurt you?”
“He can’t,” Buffy said angrily. “The chip.”
“And what if he got someone else to hurt you?”
“Then he would have done it a long time ago, Riley,” she cried in
exasperation, throwing her arms up in the air.
“He could have been waiting for you to let your guard down and-“
“Stop,” she cut him off, holding her hand up in warning. “He wouldn’t do
that…two years ago…last year, maybe he would have, but it’s different
now.”
“Don’t delude yourself- he’s still a monster,” Riley said, shaking his
head.
“He’s different now. And if a ‘monster’ can be more open to change than
a
human being, I’m willing to trust the monster,” Buffy paused, taking a deep
breath. “It’s over, Riley,” she whispered.
“Buffy, no,” he said with wide eyes. “Look, I know you’re angry and
I’m
sorry. I was just trying to keep you safe-“
“Trying to keep me safe?” she cried. “Trying to keep me safe by taking
away
the one person who can help me?”
“I can protect you.”
“I don’t want protection, Riley,” Buffy said angrily. “I want help. I
want
the ability to look in the mirror and not see this glaring weakness of mine,
and he was doing that. I don’t need a guardian, I need a partner.”
Buffy turned to walk out the door when Riley stopped her. Turning to look
at him, she saw the anger clouding his eyes.
“And you want him to be your partner?”
“I want to be able to know that when I patrol I’m safe.”
“I can keep you safe.”
“Have you not listened to a word I’ve said? I want to be safe, not have
someone standing watch over me. Spike is able to do that.”
“He’s a soulless thing.”
“Maybe,” Buffy said with a shrug, opening the door. “But I trust him. I
trust him more than I trust you.”
Walking outside, Buffy paused to take a deep breath. That was easier than
she ever expected. Leaning against a nearby brick wall, she worked on
steadying her breathing. Maybe she’d been too hard on Riley, but he had no
right to treat her like she was his and dictate her life. She’d already
been through that with Angel. She needed someone who treated her as an
equal.
But first she had to straighten things out with Spike.
“Spike!”
Immediately on his feet, Spike turned toward the door as Buffy ran through,
stopping when the door slammed behind her.
“What are you doing here, Slayer?”
“I had to see you,” she said, panting lightly from her run. “I…I know
what
happened.”
“Bollocks,” Spike muttered, looking around the crypt for anything resembling
alcohol. He wanted to be completely numb by the time Soldier Boy came
looking to make good on his threat. “What do you know?”
“I know that Riley threatened you,” she said softly, taking a few more steps
into the crypt. “I know that he told you to stay away from me. And I know
that he doesn’t care about me.”
Spike finally looked up into Buffy’s eyes, seeing the emotions swirling
around in them. The pain, the hurt, the betrayal. Her eyes had never been
so expressive, and it was more than a little unnerving to him. The Slayer
had always been very closed off, and he realized that now, when she had been
stripped of one of her most basic senses, she was opening up in ways he
didn’t even think she was aware of.
“He cares about you, luv,” Spike said with a heavy sigh. He hated defending
the wanker, but in Riley’s twisted, black and white version of good and
evil, he knew that he really did care about Buffy. He obviously cared
enough to want to be with her at all costs when he felt the relationship was
threatened, even if it wasn’t for the best reasons and his actions could
have cost the Slayer her life.
“How do you know?” Buffy asked, feeling the full effects of what Riley had
done now that she was able to slow down enough to think.
“He’d be a bloody fool not to,” Spike replied, looking directly into her
eyes.
Buffy felt the warmth spread through her when the comforting resonance of
his voice broke through the fog and entered her subconscious.
Noticing her shoulders slump, Spike tilted his head to look at her. Buffy
smiled when she finally raised her eyes to look at him again. “I can hear
you,” she whispered, relief evident in her voice. “It’s just…I missed
that.”
Spike watched as tears came to her eyes before she hurriedly blinked them
away.
“I don’t want to stop patrolling with you, Spike.”
“Look, pet, I don’t think it’s such a good idea, considering-“
“I broke up with Riley.”
“Bugger,” Spike muttered, biting his bottom lip as he looked down. Captain
Cardboard was definitely going to have it in for him now.
“He doesn’t even care enough about my well-being to trust me around…to,
um…to trust my strength,” Buffy said softly, looking away when she realized
what she’d almost said. Why would he be worried about trusting her around
Spike? It’s not like she thought of him in a sexual way. It’s not like she
looked at the lean torso that was both hidden and enhanced by the tight
black t-shirt he wore. It’s not like she studied the hard lines of his
body- his broad shoulders, his slim waist, leading even lower to…
Spike’s head nearly snapped up when he caught the scent of her arousal
filling the room. Quickly looking away before she realized what he was
thinking and ran out with her virtue fluttering, Spike hid the smile on his
face as he turned around, pretending to want something to drink and
desperately wishing that he knew what she was thinking.
“So the connection isn’t gone?” he asked with his back to her, deciding to
change the subject and test his theory at the same time.
“If you mean, can I still hear you when you’re not facing me, I think I just
answered that.”
Spike turned around with a smirk, crossing his arms and smiling when she
nervously licked her lips, her eyes traveling over the exposed muscles of
his forearms and biceps. Oh yeah, he knew what she’d been thinking of.
“We never have really talked about that,” he said with a grin. “I’m
surprised your Watcher hasn’t been researching it in every spare second.”
“Who says he hasn’t?” Buffy replied with a shrug. “I’m not exactly in
the
loop anymore.”
Spike frowned at the despondent tone of voice. “You’re the Slayer,” Spike
replied in confusion.
“Thanks for telling me. I never would have figured that one out without
you.”
“Careful now, Slayer. It would seem I’m the only friend you’ve got.”
“Is that what you are?” Buffy asked quietly. “A friend?”
“Is that what you want me to be?” Spike countered, watching her carefully.
‘What do I want him to be?’ she wondered silently.
“I want someone I can count on,” Buffy said softly, raising her eyes to his.
“Then that’s what you’ve got,” he replied honestly.
“So what do you want me to be?” she asked, insecurity creeping into her
voice. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.
“What do I want you to be?” Spike repeated, opening his mouth to answer
before he snapped it shut as a word echoed through his head. ‘Mine.'
Shaking his head to clear it, Spike looked into the wide hazel eyes of the
young woman in front of him. “Would it be redundant to say the same thing
back to you?” he asked with a smile, trying to cover up what he was
thinking.
Staring at him for a long moment, Buffy closed the distance between them,
wrapping her arms around his lean waist. She needed the reassurance of this
moment. She needed to forget the flashing neon signs over their heads that
screamed ‘Mortal Enemies.’ She needed to be a girl taking comfort in a man
she considered to be a friend.
Spike’s arms wrapped around her waist in surprise. He could have sworn he
felt his heart begin beating at her close proximity when he realized that
it was hers. The soft thudding against his chest reverberated to him,
creating an echo inside him that made him feel alive. Swallowing the gasp
of surprise, his arms tightened around her as he let his eyes close,
enjoying the feel of her in his arms.
Resisting the urge to brush a kiss to the top of her head, Spike lowered his
head, preparing to say something to her, even though he didn’t know what to
say.
Opening his mouth, his eyes snapped open when he realized what he was
preparing to say- ‘I love you.’ Gulping back the fear that welled up
inside of him, Spike slowly pulled away from her. He didn’t want to love.
He didn’t want to love the Slayer of all people, but looking into her eyes,
he knew it was inevitable. Distancing himself from her, Spike took an
unneeded breath, avoiding her strong gaze.
“Do you want to patrol?” she asked quietly.
“Sounds good,” he replied, trying to keep his voice normal and cringing when
it was much higher than he was used to. Yep, he was in trouble now.
Chapter
18 – Betrayal of Trust
Trying to resist the urge to stare at her as they walked through the
cemetery, Spike shoved his hands in the pockets of his duster. He half-expected
Riley to jump him out of nowhere, but he realized as long as Buffy
was with him, he wouldn’t try anything.
They had been patrolling for over two hours and staked five vamps.
“Why
did you listen to Riley?” Buffy blurted out all of a sudden, causing Spike to
look at her.
“I
didn’t,” he mumbled, looking away. “Not
really.”
“What
do you mean?”
“Had
to watch after you,” he said softly.
“You…you
followed me?”
Spike
merely nodded as Buffy’s eyes widened. Walking
in silence for a few more minutes, she finally decided to change the subject,
since he seemed to be unusually quiet tonight.
“I need to stop by the Magic Box. I
haven’t checked in with Giles.”
Allowing a smirk to play on his lips, Spike looked at her, trying not to
think of how the moonlight made her look more beautiful than he would have
thought possible. “You never have bothered to check in before, pet. Why
start now?”
Buffy smiled, wrapping her arms around her body and trying to ward off the
unusually chilly air as they walked. The temperature continued to drop the
later it got. “Giles is one of the only people to make an effort since I
lost my hearing…I guess I can be a good little Slayer and try and behave
sometimes.”
Spike chuckled at her tone of voice before seeing her shiver in the cool
air. Quickly shrugging off his duster, he turned to face her, giving her a
soft smile when she stopped and looked at him. Buffy sighed gratefully when
his coat was draped over her shoulders before looking up at him. She
noticed the unguarded look in his eyes as he adjusted the collar around his
neck. She didn’t know if it was her imagination or if he was showing her
genuine affection. His hands lingered where they were for a moment before
he tapped her on the edge of her nose, giving her a grin. “Can’t have you
freeze to death, now can I?”
“That would definitely not be of the good,” she said with an answering smile
as they began walking again.
“But if we run into any baddies, you guard that coat with your life.”
Buffy giggled, looking down at the sleeves of the duster, rolling them up so
they didn’t encase her hands. “Where’d you get this coat, anyway?”
Spike froze, wondering if he should let her know how he really got it or
tell a little white lie. “It belonged to the last Slayer I killed,” he
muttered, unable to look in her eyes.
All humor immediately disappeared from her face as she stopped walking,
turning to look at him. “You’re serious?”
“I am,” he replied, turning to face her. “But I’m not…whatever I was
back
then.”
“A demon,” Buffy said in a much harsher voice than she intended. “So if
you
could undo it, you would?”
“Never said that,” Spike said quietly.
“You’d kill her again?”
The demon tried to battle its way to the surface. Wanting to scream and
shout that it would gladly snap a neck or rip the throat out of anyone that
was put in his path. But looking into Buffy’s eyes, William made his way to
the surface. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly, feeling his stomach drop
as Buffy took a step away.
She knew she shouldn’t react this way. He was a soulless chipped vampire,
but something inside was telling her that he was more than that.
“It’s a lot of factors to consider, pet.”
“Like what?” Buffy asked, self-consciously crossing her arms over her chest.
“I never would have met you,” he said softly.
“Wh-what do you mean?” she asked with a nervous tremor making its way into
her voice.
“If that Slayer hadn’t died, the line would have changed…you might never
have been called-“
“And you wouldn’t have shown up in town wanting to kill me,” she finished
for him. “So I could have lived the life of a normal girl.”
Spike closed his eyes before slowly turning away from her. “I’m sorry,” he
whispered as he walked away.
Buffy hesitated for a brief moment before following him. “Don’t be,” she
murmured, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m not saying what you did is
okay, but I know how to appreciate life now. I never would have figured that out
before. Granted, I have a shorter lifespan,” she said with a grin.
“Don’t joke about that,” Spike said sharply, looking at her as they
approached the door of the Magic Box. “You’re going to live a long life,
Slayer. I’m going to see to that.”
“You are?” Buffy asked in surprise, her breath coming out in sharp pants
when he gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
“You’re going to be around for a long time, luv.”
Buffy felt as if she was getting lost in his eyes as he leaned forward and
left a soft kiss on her cheek.
“We better get inside.”
She could only nod as he opened the door to the shop.
* * * * *
An hour later, Buffy was about to walk out the door when Spike stopped her.
His hand lingered on her arm, causing a small tingling sensation to spread
through her body as he turned her to face Giles.
“Buffy, do you feel okay getting home by yourself?” Giles asked.
“Yeah,” she answered skeptically, her brow furrowed as she looked at her
Watcher.
“I need Spike to help me with a few details regarding the demon that
attacked you.”
“Okay,” she said softly, giving Spike a last look before she walked out the
backdoor.
Spike was skeptical as Giles led him back to the main room of the shop,
walking behind the counter and opening up the drawer. He tightened his jaw
when he saw the wad of cash that was pulled out.
“You’ve kept up your end of the bargain,” Giles said, counting out the
bills
and laying them on the counter. “Kept an eye on her, even when you didn’t
have to. I think you’ve earned it.”
Spike looked at the money with trepidation for a moment before hesitantly
picking it up and stuffing it in his pocket.
* * * * *
Buffy was a few feet out of the Magic Box when she realized she was still
wearing Spike’s duster. Turning around, she walked back in, already taking
off the coat and offering it to…nobody. Walking toward the open door that
led to the main room, she stopped when she saw Giles holding a stack of cash,
studying his lips as they began moving.
“You’ve kept up your end of the bargain. Kept an eye on her, even when you
didn’t have to. I think you’ve earned it.”
Looking at them with tears in her eyes, Buffy watched Spike look at the money
before taking it from the counter and giving Giles a brief nod.
Backing away from the door, she let the duster fall on the ground before
running out of the shop. The two people she thought she could trust had
been arranging a business transaction behind her back. A sob ripped from
her throat as the betrayal washed over her.
Chapter 19
– Death Wish
Spike walked through the back of the Magic Box, frowning when he saw his
duster lying on the floor. Picking it up, he briefly brought it to his
face, inhaling the sweet smell of vanilla and honeysuckle before he realized
that something didn’t feel right. Closing his eyes, he pictured Buffy
leaving the shop and easily remembered the duster wrapped snugly around her
small frame.
Looking at the open door that led to the main area of the shop, he felt his
heart tighten at the thought of what she could have witnessed.
“I would have sensed her,” he muttered to himself. “I would have heard her
or…”
He trailed off, realizing that he had been distracted with Giles and the
blasted money. Knowing that there was a possibility that she could have seen
something that she might not have understood nearly had him gasping for
unneeded air. He could almost sense the different emotions that lingered in
the air.
“Bloody hell, she must have seen.”
Without another thought, Spike ran out of the shop, hoping that Buffy didn’t
have too much of a head start.
* * * * *
Walking toward her house, Buffy had veered off toward a nearby cemetery, not
wanting to have to face her mother just yet with tears streaming down her
cheeks- she needed to get her emotions under control.
Everything had been turned on its axis, and Buffy didn’t know how much more
she could take. When the vampire caught her off guard with a hard hit to
her jaw, she found herself falling, landing on her back on the hard earth.
She tried to fight back but was too overcome with the raging emotions,
putting very little force behind her punches.
‘Nothing means anything anymore,’ she thought as the vampire eagerly pinned
her body with his.
Buffy closed her eyes as the alarms sounded through her body, waiting for
the fangs to pierce her jugular. She just wanted it to be over. She wanted the
pain, the confusion, and most of all, the betrayal to be nothing but a
distant memory. She wanted to be
nothing but a distant memory.
Nothing could have surprised her more than the feeling of the vampire
disintegrating on top of her. The dust falling around her as she looked
into the cold blue eyes of a man she thought she trusted.
“What the bloody hell was that?!” Spike yelled, jerking her up by her arms
and giving her a hard shake. “Are you trying to commit suicide? Because
that’s what it fucking looked like!”
Buffy had never seen Spike this angry, but she turned away, wanting to
ignore him as she brushed herself off.
Spinning her around, Spike grabbed her arms and held them in a bruising grip,
ignoring the
warning zaps that the chip was sending through his brain. “Do you want to
die?” he asked, giving her another shake for good measure, trying to get her
to look at him.
“What do you care?!” Buffy yelled, trying to break free of his hold.
“Because I care about you,” Spike said, his grip loosening slightly.
“You’re the strongest Slayer I’ve ever been in contact with, and I’ll be
damned all over again if I let you go out that way.”
“I’m not the Slayer!” she screamed as tears ran down her face. “I’m
nothing
anymore. I’m a shell of the Slayer and I haven’t had a chance to be a girl!
I’ve been the Slayer since I was fifteen, and I was never able to figure
out who Buffy was! Now, I don’t even
have that…I’m just a liability.”
“Where the hell are you getting this?” Spike asked, his eyes softening as he
took a step back and looked at her.
“Let’s just say I had a sudden realization tonight.”
“And that would be?”
“Why don’t you go ask your business partner,” Buffy said bitterly.
“What?
You don’t have any more business transactions to make tonight?” she asked,
her arms crossed in front of her chest.
Spike knew that he would have to approach this very carefully. “Slayer-“
“Don’t!” she yelled, fighting the tears in her eyes, pointing a finger at
him in warning. “I don’t want to know. Whatever you’re about to say…I
trusted you,” she trailed off in a whisper as tears continued to stream down
her cheeks. “I thought we had something special, and it was all just for
money.” Buffy covered her face with her hands as the sobs racked her body.
She jumped when she felt his arms wrap around her and quickly pulled away,
landing a solid punch to his nose that sent him reeling back. Spike
hurriedly steadied himself and blocked her other hits.
“I trusted you!” she screamed, her emotions taking over as she cried. “You
said you were my friend!”
“I am,”
he said quietly, letting her take out her anger and frustration on him, only
bothering to block the worst of her hits, knowing that she would need to get
this out of her system. He held his arms out to his sides when he felt her
strength dwindling as her fists weakly hit his chest. Wrapping his arms around
the young woman, Spike dropped to the ground with her when her legs gave out.
Stroking her hair and holding her in a firm grip as she cried, he planted
soft kisses in her hair, letting his hands trail along her back, trying to
soothe her.
After a few minutes, he felt Buffy pull away but held her at arms' length,
forcing her to look at him. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, his eyes
never leaving hers as silent tears slipped down her cheeks. “I didn’t take
the money.”
Her eyes widened as she looked at him. “You didn’t?”
Spike shook his head before answering. “No.”
“Wh-why not?” she asked, her voice trembling.
Hesitating for a moment, Spike leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to her
lips. It was barely a caress, but it was enough to elicit a response from
her. She eagerly leaned forward, craving his touch as she deepened the
kiss, holding him to her.
Breaking away after a moment, each breathing heavily, Buffy looked into his
eyes again. “Why didn’t you take the money?” she asked again.
“Because I love you.”
Chapter
20 – Denial & Acceptance
“Love? You…you love me?”
Spike was staring at her through eyes that were filled with so much emotion,
Buffy felt short of breath. “I do,” he whispered, waiting for the hardening
of her features or the moment when she would shove him away and try to get
as far away from him as possible.
“Since when?” she whispered, surprising him by not distancing herself from
his embrace as they still sat on the ground.
“Remember the night at the Magic Box? The night when Riley collapsed?”
Buffy nodded, her eyes widening. “The night that I actually heard what you
said for the first time?”
It was Spike’s turn for his eyes to widen. “Yeah,” he whispered, his brow
furrowed together as he tried to understand what that meant. “I just didn’t
know what I was feeling.”
Buffy
stayed quiet as he ran his hand gently over her hair.
“Come
on, pet, let’s get you home,” he said, trying to change the subject as he
helped her
to her feet.
“Spike, I don’t think-“
“Leave it, Slayer,” he said in a harsher tone than he intended, regretting
it the moment that he saw the hurt in her eyes. Tightening his jaw, he
avoided her strong gaze, trying to get his emotions under control before he
looked at her again. “It’s not a big deal,” he finally mumbled, feeling
her
eyes bore into him. “I just don’t want to make a thing out of it.”
“It is a big deal,” Buffy
insisted, grabbing his arm and forcing him to turn
and look at her.
“Why?” he asked, keeping his expression closed off so she couldn’t see
what
he was feeling.
“Because that’s not something that you just blurt out and then pretend that
it was never said!”
“Look, I know how this will play out. I stand in front of you with my heart
on my sleeve and you throw it back in my face. Forgive me for not wanting
that to happen tonight.”
“Is that really what you think?”
“Slayer, the only reason you’re standing in front of me is because you lost
your hearing. If that wasn’t the case, you would still be barging into my
crypt and beating me up for information.” Spike stopped when he noticed the
look of pain that crossed her features.
“Maybe,” she murmured, looking down at the ground. “Probably…but things
are
different now.”
“No, they’re not.”
“Why?” Buffy asked angrily. “Because I have a disability now? Who cares,
Spike! Everything that ever led to anything has had events that set it up!
Do you think I would have been with Angel if I wasn’t the Slayer?” She
ignored his grimace at the mention of Angel as she continued, “Do you think
that I would be with Riley if Angel hadn’t left town? Do you think that you
would be here if Drusilla hadn’t left you? Because by your reasoning, I
shouldn’t be with you, because if Dru didn’t leave you, you wouldn’t have
that chip in your head.”
“That doesn’t make one bit of sense,” Spike replied in exasperation.
“Doesn’t it? If I wasn’t deaf, we wouldn’t be standing here right now.
If
you didn’t have that chip in your head, we wouldn’t be standing here right
now. It seems pretty cut and dry to me,” she replied, crossing her arms
over her chest.
“Does that mean you love me?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, preparing
himself for the answer he knew would be the only and final blow.
Buffy stared at him for a long minute before speaking. “It means…I’m not
against the idea.”
Spike’s eyes widened a fraction before closing off his emotions once again.
“You don’t know what you mean,” he replied, turning away and walking in
the
direction of her house.
Buffy stood behind him, fighting the tears in her eyes. She tightened her
jaw, slowly following behind him and waiting for him to turn around. When
he finally did, Buffy did the one thing she never expected to do again.
Walking up to him, she slammed her fist into his jaw, suppressing the smile
as he regained his footing.
“What the bloody hell was that for!?” he yelled, holding a hand to his
throbbing jaw.
“For being an idiot,” she replied, walking past him.
Spike quickly caught up to her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.
His flashing eyes seemed to turn remorseful as he looked at her face and saw
the pain in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“You just…you ask me if I love you, and I give you an honest answer
and…why
ask me if you already had your mind made up about what I was going to say?”
Spike sighed before looking around the area. They were a few blocks from
Buffy’s house, and it was getting late. “Let’s get you home, pet.”
“You’re just going to ignore this, aren’t you?”
“What am I supposed to do?” Spike asked, feeling his heart tighten at the
simple words.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy stepped forward, slipping her hand into his,
tightening her hold as she looked into his eyes. “You’re supposed to see if
this can work.”
“You don’t love me, Buffy,” he whispered in a resigned voice.
“No,” she said softly. “I don’t…but I didn’t love Riley either. Love
doesn’t seem to come easy for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to
try
and see what’s here…because I can tell you right now, I already have more of
an understanding relationship with you than I ever did with Riley.”
A slight smile graced Spike’s face as he looked into her eyes, seeing the
honesty reflecting in them.
“Walk me home?” she asked, biting her lip as she waited for his answer.
Looking down at their joined hands, his smile broadened. “You know I will.”
Setting a comfortable pace, both stayed quiet, enjoying the simple feel of
the other as the walked through the darkened streets. Neither wanted to
break the tranquility of the moment, each wanting to remember it forever.
Turning onto Revello, Spike’s hold tightened on her briefly before he moved
to let her go. “What are you doing?” Buffy asked, her fingers clasping
around his.
“I didn’t think you’d want anyone you know seeing us.”
Buffy frowned. It was definitely going to be a difficult conversation,
considering she would have to tell her friends that she had just broken up
with Riley and she was starting something with Spike, but she strangely
realized that she didn’t care what they thought.
Walking in silence for a few more moments, Buffy climbed one of the steps
leading up to the porch and turned to face him. “Spike,” she whispered,
taking his other hand in hers, feeling a calming sensation at the linked
feeling. “I need to ask you something, and I don’t think you’d lie to me,
but-“
“What is it, luv?”
Hesitating for a moment, Buffy took a deep breath. “The chip…if you ever
got the chip out, would you-“
“No,” he replied, cutting her off. “I wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
He felt a strange feeling of hurt wash over him at the disbelief in her
eyes.
“You don’t believe me?”
“It’s just…you haven’t even had it for a year and-“
“And how could a soulless demon reform in less than a year's time?”
“Well…yeah.”
“Easy answer, luv,” he replied, tucking a lock of silky hair behind her ear.
“You.” At her surprised look, he continued, “I’ve been having feelings
for you for a long time- I’ve just been ignoring them. You make me want to
change, Buffy.”
She felt tears come to her eyes as her chin quivered with emotion. Not
giving any thought to what she was doing, Buffy brushed a tender kiss
against his lips. She had to smile at Spike’s shocked expression when she
pulled away. He’d obviously never expected her to initiate a kiss between
them, and the look on his face was priceless.
“I better get inside,” she whispered, reluctance evident in her voice.
“Okay, luv,” Spike said softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Spike felt like he was in heaven as her lips brushed against his once more,
eliciting a moan from him before slowly pulling away. “Good night, Buffy.”
Buffy watched as he turned around and disappeared down the street before
walking into her house, feeling more relaxed.
* * * * *
Spike had an uneasy feeling the entire walk back to his crypt. He was so
distracted by everything that happened with Buffy tonight, he hadn’t been
paying attention to his surroundings.
“We need to talk.”
Turning at the sound of the familiar voice, Spike raised an eyebrow,
surprised that he’d let his guard down. “What do you want, Soldier Boy?”
Chapter
21 – Déjà vu
An uneasy feeling washed over Buffy as she said good night to her mother.
Pausing on the stairs, she tried to tune into her emotions, wondering what
was wrong with her. Turning and walking back down the stairs, Buffy saw her
mom sitting on the couch watching television, exactly the way she’d left her
less than a minute ago.
“Mom…do you feel that?”
“What, honey?” Joyce asked, looking at her daughter in concern.
“It feels like something is wrong and I don’t know what.”
Joyce looked deep in thought for a moment before answering. “Do you think
it’s a Slayer thing?”
“I-I don’t know…the only time I’ve ever felt anything like this was when
Angel was poisoned, but I was standing right there with him and it wasn’t
this strong.”
“Do you think it’s-“
“Spike!”
Before Joyce could respond, Buffy was out the door and running toward the
cemetery.
* * * * *
The feeling got stronger as she approached the crypt. Putting on a burst of
Slayer speed, she practically knocked the door off the hinges in her rush to
get through it.
“Spike?”
Looking around and calling his name, Buffy tuned in every sense to locating
him. “Spike, where are you?”
‘Come on,’ she urged silently. ‘You know I can hear you, answer me.’
Walking toward the back of the crypt, she frowned when his presence didn’t
seem as strong. “Spike?” she whispered with tears in her eyes, praying to
anyone and everyone that he would answer.
Taking several deep breaths and forcing herself to calm down, Buffy closed
her eyes, letting her feelings take over. After an excruciatingly long few
seconds, her eyes flew open before she ran to the door again. Pausing for a
brief moment when the night air hit her face, Buffy turned left and ran a
few paces, nearly tripping as she skidded to a stop. Feeling her breath
catch in her throat, she dropped to her knees, choking back the bile in her
throat as she looked at the beaten vampire in front of her, lying in a pool of
blood.
Cuts and bruises littered his face and body. Swelling was already beginning,
and blood was pouring out of open wounds. She felt her heart stop when she
realized that he was unconscious.
Dropping to her knees, Buffy’s first thought was to check for a pulse until
her brain kicked in and reminded her that she wouldn’t find one no matter
what.
“Spike,” she whispered in a hopeful tone, gently touching his chest,
wondering if a vampire could die from blood loss.
As gently as she could, Buffy maneuvered him into a better position and
picked him up. Slowly moving him toward the crypt, she was careful not to
jar any of his potentially broken bones as she walked through the door.
With a sigh of relief, Buffy laid him down on top of a nearby coffin, trying
to keep the tears from falling as she ran for the refrigerator and came back
with a brimming cup of blood.
Slowly moving him so she was cradling his head in her arm, Buffy tilted the
blood toward his mouth, hoping that the scent would entice him, even in his
unconscious state.
Holding her breath when he took a small swallow of blood, she felt her heart
drop in her chest when he immediately choked on it and spit out the
mouthful.
“Spike, you need to drink,” she whispered as she finally let her tears fall,
lowering her head to his chest as her body shook with the force of her sobs.
“I can’t lose you…I can’t!”
“Buffy?”
Jerking her head up at the hoarse voice, Buffy gasped when she saw one eye
open. “It’s me,” she whispered, tenderly trailing a hand over his battered
cheek. “I’m here.”
With a painful grimace, Spike reached up and took her hand in his, leaving a
tender kiss on the palm. “Why the long face, pet?” he asked with another
cringe.
“I thought…I thought I’d lost you. What happened?”
“It’s not important,” he mumbled, turning away from her.
“Yes, it is,” she replied, walking around the coffin so she could look at
him again. “Who did this to you?”
Seeing the resolve in her eyes, Spike sighed and immediately regretted the
action when his ribs protested.
“It was your lover boy, Slayer.”
“Riley?” Buffy asked in disbelief, her eyes glazing over. “Wh-why?”
“Apparently, I’m taking advantage of what’s his,” Spike replied before
coughing up even more blood.
Quickly rolling him, Buffy’s chin quivered at the amount of blood he was
losing. “I’m not his,” she whispered, more to herself than him.
“That’s not what he says,” Spike whispered, resting his head on his arm as
he closed his eyes.
“No! No, Spike, don’t close your eyes, you have to eat!”
“Too weak, luv. Got some bones that need mending.”
“You’ll get stronger, just drink.”
“I just need to rest,” he said, his voice getting weaker.
Sitting down on the stone surface, Buffy pulled him up into a sitting
position, forcing him to look at her. “You need blood, Spike.”
“Where the bloody hell is it?” he asked in a resigned voice.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy nervously licked her lips before moving forward
and tilting her head. Spike’s mouth dropped open when he realized what she
was doing as he tried to move away. “Can’t do it, Slayer…I won’t do
it.”
“You have to.”
Unconsciously licking his lips as he eyed her neck, Spike painfully shook
his head. “I’ll hurt you…the chip.”
Watching as she moved closer to him, Spike had never been more nervous or
aroused as she pressed her chest to his. “Then don’t hurt me,” she
whispered, feeling the demon come forth as tingles of warning and
anticipation went through her body.
The bloodlust was raging in him as his tongue lightly swept over her neck.
He felt her heartbeat speed up in response and took a moment to run his
fingers through her hair, making sure she was relaxed. The demon was oddly
quiet during the tender display, not screaming at him to take what she was
offering.
Spike’s brow furrowed when he realized that he saw Buffy as his mate. The
realization almost propelled him away from her before he realized that she
was accepting him…all of him.
“Spike?” Buffy whispered, gasping when she felt his fangs plunge into her
neck, her eyes closing as he began taking deep pulls of her blood.
Feeling her heart beating rapidly, Spike pulled her closer to him,
forgetting the pain he was in as he bit down harder, moderately surprised
that the chip wasn’t firing. Letting his hand come up to the back of
Buffy’s head, he held her to him as he continued to drink the sweet liquid.
Buffy began to feel her strength draining out of her with each swallow of
blood. The feeling of déjà vu was almost too much for her as she arched her
back, pushing her body against his while she waited for the all too familiar
feeling of oblivion to surround her. She was beyond the point of asking him
to stop, and a larger part of her was enjoying having him connected so
intimately to her that she knew she wouldn’t ask even if she could.
Hearing her heartbeat dwindling, a warning seemed to pass through Spike,
recognizing that she could be in danger before reluctantly pulling away.
Letting the demon recede, he immediately panicked when he saw Buffy’s glazed
over eyes.
“Buffy?”
Trying to shake off the feeling of helplessness, Buffy felt herself lowered
onto the hard surface, vaguely making out Spike’s concerned eyes as he
looked at her.
“I’m sorry, luv. I didn’t mean to take so much.”
Taking a few deep breaths, Buffy allowed her eyes to focus and offered him a
weak smile.
Listening intently to her heart, Spike stared at her worriedly. “Are you
okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” she whispered. “I’ve had it worse than this.”
Spike continued to stare at her, periodically checking her breathing and
heart. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Hold me?” she whispered hopefully, smiling when a soft smile lit up his
face.
“I can do that.”
Buffy relaxed as he lay down next to her and pulled her against his strong
chest, marveling for a moment that he must already be feeling better.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, brushing a kiss along her forehead.
“Don’t be,” she said in a soft voice. “I’m not.”
Chapter 22 – Drained
Slowly opening her eyes, Buffy groaned at the pain in her body, immediately
closing her eyes once again. She felt like she’d been hit by a truck, and as
the memories returned to her, she was almost regretting not going to the
hospital. At least when she’d allowed Angel to feed from her, she’d woken
up with enough pain medication flowing through her to keep her numb to the
actual pain. Of course she’d been much closer to death at the time, and that
was a
feeling she wasn’t looking to relive anytime soon.
“Buffy?”
Turning toward the soft-spoken voice, her eyes fluttered open, and Buffy had
to smile at the worried look on Spike’s face.
“How are you?” he asked nervously.
“I’ll be fine,” she murmured, her voice tinged with pain as she rolled
toward him, seeking comfort. She frowned when something felt different.
Looking around, Buffy realized that Spike must have moved her to the bed at
some point. The soft mattress and silky sheets caressed her body, doing
their part to soothe the aching in her sore muscles.
“You shouldn’t have done that, pet,” Spike whispered, tracing his
fingertips
along her cheek.
Breathing a sigh of relief at the comforting feeling of being able to hear
him and feel him, Buffy snuggled closer to his body, tucking her head under
his chin and trembling when his hands traveled lower, slipping beneath her
shirt and stroking the skin he came in contact with. “I had to do it,” she
murmured. “It was my fault.”
“It wasn’t,” Spike insisted, pulling back to look at her. “Your ex boy
wonder is the only one to blame.”
“But if it wasn’t for me, he never would have shown up wanting revenge,”
she
said softly, leaning back to study him for a moment. There was no swelling
in his face and some of the bruises had already faded. The cuts were
closing, making it look as if Spike had been in a fair fight and he was
simply healing from a few injuries. Her memory blocked out the way he
looked when she first showed up and the thought of what could have happened
if she hadn’t been there. Her Slayer’s blood was doing what it was supposed
to do, and that’s what she needed to focus on.
Seeing tears shimmering in her eyes, Spike tilted his head to look at her
with a worried expression. “What is it?” he asked in a whisper, causing her
eyes to travel to his again.
“What if I hadn’t been here?” she said in a choked voice. “What if I
hadn’t
felt that something was wrong? The sun would have risen and you…”
“You felt something?”
Buffy nodded, sniffling slightly as he studied her. “I can’t explain it. I
just got this confusing feeling, and then I realized that you were in trouble
and I got here as fast as I could.”
Looking up at him to gauge his reaction, Buffy was surprised at the
confusion written all over his face.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, watching as he turned to look at her,
his brow furrowed.
“It’s not important,” he replied, shaking his head. “I was just trying
to
figure out how we’re feeling each other.”
“And that’s not important?” she asked, a pout forming on her lips.
“It’s important, luv,” he whispered with a smile. “Just confusing.”
“Yeah,” she agreed in a soft voice, seeing Spike’s expression change once
again. “I’m not a mind reader, Spike. Tell me what’s going on in that head
of yours.”
“It’s just…if I didn’t know better, I’d say we were mated.”
Buffy stayed quiet, avoiding his gaze as she picked at the invisible lint on
the sheet. Spike studied her for a moment before drawing her attention back
to him. “I’m not a mind reader either,” he said with a playful smile that
Buffy didn’t return.
“If we were mated…that’s like a form of marriage?”
“Yes, luv, but we’re not.”
The disappointed look on her features didn’t go unnoticed by him, but he
chose not to say anything about it.
“Why don’t you talk to your Watcher and see if he can find out anything,”
he
suggested, pulling her closer to him.
“Yeah,” she murmured, looking up at him with wide eyes that were more
expressive than he was used to seeing.
Slowly lowering his lips to hers, Spike gently kissed her, eliciting a moan
when he tried to pull away. Buffy eagerly sought out the comfort the kiss
was providing and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to
her as his tongue slipped past her lips to brush against hers.
Pulling away breathlessly after a moment, she saw Spike looking at her with
lust-filled eyes. The startling navy shade almost made her jump with the
intensity of his gaze. “I love you,” he whispered, pressing another kiss to
her lips before breaking away all too soon.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she murmured, tracing her hand
along
his cheekbone. “I mean…I know what you want me to say, but…”
“I’m not trying to pressure you. I just thought you might need to hear it
again.”
Buffy smiled, looking down shyly before meeting his gaze again. “I can’t
say it yet,” she whispered, noticing the brief flash of disappointment on
his face before he masked it carefully. “But I know that I can’t be
without you.”
A brilliant smile lit up Spike’s face, and Buffy realized that she rarely saw
a genuine smile from him.
“I like that,” she murmured, laying her head on his chest in exhaustion.
“What’s that, pet?” Spike asked, his lips brushing along the top of her
head, letting his hands trail up and down her arms in a soothing motion.
“When you smile,” she whispered, closing her eyes and yawning. “I don’t
think I’ve seen it since we were engaged.”
Spike chuckled, tightening his hold on her, unable to believe that she was
really lying in his arms of her own free will.
“Get some rest,” he said softly.
“I can’t,” she mumbled sleepily. “My mom is probably worried about
me.”
“You need rest, Goldilocks,” he said, playing with the long strands of hair.
“Sleep for an hour and I’ll wake you up, alright?”
Not strong enough to argue, Buffy merely nodded, breathing a sigh of relief
as she held onto Spike. Her eyes briefly opened when she felt a low
rumbling run through her before smiling when she realized he was purring.
Closing her eyes again, Buffy soon drifted to sleep, comforted by the calm
vibration running through her.
*
* * * *
“Mom?” Buffy called, walking into the house a few hours later.
“Buffy,” Joyce said with a sigh of relief, walking down the stairs.
“I’ve
been worried sick. Is Spike okay?”
“I’m sorry,” Buffy apologized, giving her mother a hug. “Spike’s
okay…now.”
“Now? What happened?” Joyce asked in concern as they walked into the living
room, sitting down on the couch.
“Riley,” Buffy said softly. “Riley beat him up and…I hate to think this,
but it looked like he left him for the sunrise.”
Joyce gasped, her eyes widening at the implications. “Buffy, are you sure?”
“I’m not sure of anything anymore,” Buffy said, her voice strained with
exhaustion as she broke eye contact to run her hands through her hair.
“What?” she asked, looking at her mother in confusion when she felt
Joyce’s
eyes on her.
“Were you attacked?”
“No. Why do you…”
Her hand unconsciously drifted to her neck as she looked down at the floor.
“So you saw,” she said sheepishly, biting her bottom lip and raising her
eyes to her mother’s.
“Spike?”
“He had to have blood,” Buffy reasoned.
“And I’m assuming this took place in his crypt.”
“Yeah,” Buffy replied skeptically, her eyes narrowing slightly as she
wondered what Joyce had up her sleeve.
“And he doesn’t have blood in his refrigerator?” she asked, fighting the
smirk that was threatening to play on her lips.
“I take it you don’t mind that a vampire fed on your daughter,” Buffy
said,
leaning against the cushions of the couch.
“I’m assuming it was…consensual.”
Buffy blushed at her mother’s choice of words. “I thought he was going to
die, Mom.”
“I can understand that,” Joyce said with a nod. “You obviously have some
feelings for him and you wanted to take care of him. It’s perfectly
understandable. But you are okay?” she asked, letting the concerned mother
out.
“I’m fine,” Buffy said, a soft smile on her lips. “A little weak, but
Spike let me rest
at the crypt.”
“I might just have to get Spike a cell phone,” Joyce said with a smile.
Buffy laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Amazing. I ask for one for
years and then just because I lose my hearing, you’re willing to get a
vampire a phone.”
“Well, you can’t very well use it, and I’d like to know you’re safe.
Spike’s
been around for over one hundred years, so I’m assuming that he would know
how to use one.”
Rolling her eyes at her mother, Buffy stood up. “I’m going to get some
rest. There’s a Scooby meeting tonight and I feel like I’m…well…quite
literally drained.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Joyce asked, studying her daughter’s face
and
noticing that it was more pale than usual.
“I’ll be fine,” Buffy insisted. “Wake me up in a few hours?”
“Of course.”
* * * * *
Walking through the cemetery just after sunset, Buffy hesitantly knocked on
the crypt door and pushed it open. Spike stood up from his chair and seemed
more than a little surprised to see her there. “Something wrong, pet?” he
asked, hurrying over to her.
“No,” Buffy replied, shaking her head. “I just…well, there’s a Scooby
meeting tonight and I thought…never mind.”
“Buffy,” Spike said with a smile, grabbing her arm before she could leave.
“You want me to go?”
“I just…I would feel better if you went with me.”
Realizing a moment too late that she’d said the wrong thing, Buffy opened
her mouth to take back the statement as Spike’s eyes hardened.
“Don’t need you to protect me, Slayer,” he said in a low voice.
“I-I know,” she said, wishing she could rephrase but knowing that Spike
wouldn’t forget that easily. With a heavy sigh, Buffy realized that it was
probably just better to give up on it. “Never mind,” she murmured, pulling
her arm out of his grasp and turning for the door.
“Buffy.”
Hearing his voice, she closed her eyes, trying to ward off the feelings. It
was the only sound she could hear, so of course she responded to it.
Turning to face him before walking through the door, Buffy stared at him for
a moment. “What?” she finally asked in exasperation.
Not saying a word, Spike closed the distance between them before pulling
Buffy flush against him and crushing his lips to hers. Eagerly kissing him
back for a moment, she soon found herself getting lost in the sensations.
Reluctantly pulling away and feeling a profound sense of loss at the lack of
contact, Buffy offered him a tentative smile. “I better go,” she said,
breathing heavily from the simple exertion of the kiss.
Not letting her go, Spike looked into her eyes, studying her for a long
moment until Buffy began to fidget beneath his gaze.
“Can I go now?”
“Do you really want me to come with you?”
“I did,” she admitted. “But since you obviously don’t want to go, I’m
going
to be late if I don’t-“
His lips once again found hers, and Buffy got lost in the feel of him. His
tongue gently brushed against hers as her hands made their way into his
hair. Pulling back once more, Buffy felt lightheaded, gasping for air.
“I missed you today,” he whispered, his breath so close to her that it was
sending
chills racing through her body.
“I wasn’t gone very long,” she murmured, watching her hands reach up to
play
along the strong muscles of his chest.
“Too long,” he replied, staring into her eyes for a moment before grabbing
his duster. “What are we waiting for, pet? We’re going to be late.”
Buffy blinked at the sudden, abrupt change of topic. “You’re going?” she
asked, tilting her head to study him.
“Well, yeah,” he said with a grin. “I need my girl to keep me safe, now
don’t I?”
The smug look on his face caused Buffy to narrow her eyes at him before
disappearing through the door.
“Wait up, Goldilocks,” he called, chasing after her. “You didn’t think I
would actually pass up spending time with you, did you?” he asked, smiling
when she turned to look at him.
“Well…when you put it that way, it’s hard to stay frustrated with you.”
“All part of my master plan,” Spike replied with a raised eyebrow.
Buffy rolled her eyes as they continued toward the Magic Box. Spike could
feel the tension rolling off of her in waves and longed to put an end to it.
“Look, pet…I know you’re worried about your mates finding out
about…whatever
this is between us- I’ll keep it quiet.”
“That’s not what I was worried about,” she admitted softly.
“It’s not?”
Shaking her head, Buffy took a deep breath, her eyes nervously darting
around the area before coming to a decision. Taking a step closer to Spike
as they walked, Buffy avoided his eyes as she casually reached out for his
hand, intertwining their fingers together in a tender gesture.
Looking down at their joined hands, Spike felt his heart swell. He didn’t
think it was possible to love this woman more than he already did, but the
simple gesture of taking his hand was not lost on him. She wasn’t the
Slayer right now. She was simply a girl who was nervous around someone she
liked, and Spike wasn’t about to ridicule or tease her about the thoughtful
gesture.
Bringing her hand up to his lips, she visibly relaxed when he tenderly
kissed the back of it before continuing toward the shop. After a few
minutes, Buffy glanced at Spike out of the corner of her eye, smiling when
she saw him looking back at her.
“Have I ever told you thank you?” she asked, turning toward him.
“Can’t rightly recall, pet.”
“Well, if I haven’t…thank you.”
Applying a little bit of pressure to her hand in a gentle squeeze, Spike
gave her a soft smile. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Chapter 23 – Coming Clean
To Spike’s surprise, Buffy didn’t let go of his hand as they walked into the
Magic Box, earning a scathing glare from Xander.
“Are you two engaged?” Anya asked, looking back and forth between them.
“What?” Buffy asked, looking at Spike, who was chuckling.
“Well, the last time I saw the two of you holding hands, you were engaged.
Are you engaged again?”
“No,” Buffy replied, shaking her head.
“It’s a spell,” Xander cried, throwing his hands up in the air as if he’d
just discovered the cure to the common cold.
“It’s not a soddin’ spell,” Spike growled, already growing impatient with
the whelp.
“B-but it has to be,” he insisted.
Buffy didn’t have to look at Spike to know that he was getting frustrated.
She could see Willow
and Tara exchanging confused looks and Giles cleaning
his glasses behind the counter.
“Are you…together?” the older man finally asked when Buffy’s gaze fell on
him.
Spike glanced at Buffy, not wanting to answer the question and risk getting
her mad at him. She looked up at him with a soft smile before nodding,
never taking her eyes away from Spike’s gaze. “Yes.”
Judging by Spike’s flinch, she knew that pandemonium must have erupted
through the store and reluctantly tore her eyes away from him. She could
see Xander gesturing wildly as Willow, Tara, and Anya appeared to be
alternating between asking questions and trying to calm him down. Shooting
a quick glance at Giles, she saw him with a slightly perplexed look, but he
remained silent.
Looking back at Xander, Buffy’s gaze hardened when she realized he was
demanding how she could do something like this to Riley. Reminding herself
that Xander was one of her oldest friends, Buffy took a deep breath.
Putting a hand on Spike’s chest when she realized that he was practically
coiled and waiting to strike, Buffy slowly turned toward Xander.
“Shut up,” she said in such a low voice it seemed to startle everyone in the
room. Just as she opened her mouth to defend her newfound relationship, she
heard Spike growl low in his throat. Turning to look at him, she suddenly
realized that Riley had walked through the door of the Magic Box.
Catching Spike’s arm a split second before he ran at the other man, Buffy
planted herself in front of the temperamental vampire, using all of her
strength to hold him in place. She could hear Spike yelling and judging
from his side of the conversation, and she knew that Riley must be causing just
as much noise, but all of her energy was focused on keeping him where he
was.
“Spike!” she finally yelled in exasperation.
Gritting his teeth together, cold blue eyes met Buffy’s and immediately
softened when he saw her worried expression. Tenderly running a hand along
her cheek, he tried to give her a gentle, albeit tight, smile.
“You can’t,” she whispered softly. “The chip.”
“It would be worth it,” he said with a growl, and Buffy knew that it was for
Riley’s benefit and not hers as he glanced over her shoulder at the other
man.
“I’m not risking you hurting yourself,” she said softly, planting both hands
on his chest as she backed away, making sure he stayed in place.
When Buffy was satisfied that Spike was going to stay in place, she slowly
turned to face her ex-boyfriend. Riley immediately began yelling and
gesturing toward the two of them, and Buffy knew that she wouldn’t be able to
hold Spike back a second time. Crossing the room in three quick strides,
she let her fist fly directly into Riley’s nose, feeling moderately better
when she saw the blood that began to pour from it.
She could sense the shock in the room without even needing to turn around.
Adding a strong kick to his midsection and watching him double over in pain,
Buffy glared at the man she thought she knew. “I can’t believe you’d show your
face here,” she said through clenched teeth, keeping her eyes on the bleeding
man.
“I can’t believe you’d bring that thing here,” Riley retaliated, causing
Buffy to take another menacing step forward.
Feeling a hand on her arm, Buffy swung around and tried to settle her nerves
when she saw it was Willow. “Buffy, what’s going on?” she asked, her
expressive eyes showing how worried she was about her best friend.
“Everyone’s curious?” Buffy asked, walking toward Spike and planting herself
in front of him, relaxing when she felt his hands rest lightly on her hips.
“Spike and I are together,” she said, holding up her hand when she saw that
Xander was about to yell again. “Before anyone says one single word, you
have no idea what I’ve been going through. Riley and I have broken up,” she
continued, shooting a glare in her ex’s direction. “He didn’t trust me, he
didn’t try and see what I was going through, and he tried to separate me
from the one person who does understand…in more ways than one.” Buffy
continued, even when she saw that Riley was trying to interrupt. “And I can
handle the idle threats or whatever you want to call them, but I am not
going to sit back and condone beating up the one person who has been helping
me and leaving him for dead!” she yelled.
She could practically feel the stunned silence that permeated the room
before looking at Giles.
“When was this?” he asked, looking at her in concern.
“When did he leave Spike to meet the sunrise? Last night.”
Everyone in the room exchanged looks before turning toward Spike.
“He doesn’t look that bad,” Anya spoke up, tilting her head in Spike’s
direction.
“No,” Riley agreed, looking Spike up and down and narrowing his eyes as
Buffy watched him. “He doesn’t look that bad at all.”
Looking over her shoulder at Spike, Buffy gave him a soft smile, leaning
more securely into his embrace. “That’s what Slayer’s blood does,” she
replied, keeping eye contact with him for another moment before turning to
face the stunned group.
“He fed off you?” Riley cried, advancing on the couple, only to be met with
another fist as it slammed into his eye.
“Don’t you come near him,” Buffy said in a menacing tone. “Or me, for that
matter. Yes,” she continued, addressing the rest of the room. “I willingly
fed him and I would do it again. If anyone has a problem with that- I
really don’t want to know.”
Her nerves were setting her on edge when she saw everyone begin talking
again.
“You know what?” she finally said with a resigned sigh. “You all are my
friends and I really want you to accept this, but if you can’t…well, you
haven’t missed me lately, so I don’t really expect you to notice if I only
come around for official Slayer business.”
Taking Spike’s hand in hers, she walked past Riley and through the door of
the shop without looking back. Spike stayed quiet as they walked down the
street before lightly tugging on her hand, signaling her to stop.
Buffy turned around and saw Willow and Tara running toward them.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy,” Willow cried, throwing herself into her best friend’s
arms. Buffy hugged her for a long moment before the redhead pulled back to
look at her. “I know I haven’t been there as much lately and I…we just
wanted you to know that we’re going to support whatever you decide,” she
finished with a small smile, directed toward Spike.
“I’m sure Giles and Anya agree,” Tara said timidly. “But they were trying
to calm down Xander and Riley.”
“I should have known Xander would hit the roof,” Buffy said, shaking her
head.
“Don’t worry about the whelp, pet,” Spike said, wrapping an arm around her
waist. “If he’s really your friend, he won’t want to let you go.”
“Are you happy?” Willow
asked, tilting her head to look at her friend,
smiling when Buffy leaned her head against Spike’s chest as if it was the
most natural thing in the world.
“I am,” she said with a soft smile.
“Then I’m happy for you.”
Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as they said good-bye to the two girls
before turning to Spike.
“Want me to walk you home?” he asked with a soft smile.
“No,” Buffy said softly, shaking her head while a slow, seductive smile appeared
on her lips. “I want to go back to your place.”
Chapter 24 – Living for the Moment
“M-my place?” Spike asked, suddenly nervous as he cleared his throat against
the stutter.
“You heard me,” she whispered, running her hand along his arm before taking
his hand in hers and leading him in the direction of the cemetery.
“Buffy-“
“Spike,” she murmured, turning around and leaving a gentle kiss on his lips.
“I know what I’m doing.”
* * * * *
“Are you sure about this?” Spike asked softly as he watched Buffy walk
backwards toward his bed, keeping eye contact with him the entire time.
“You seem nervous,” she said with a smile, letting her hands travel up to
the hem of her shirt and whipping it over her head in a single motion,
giggling when Spike’s eyes widened.
“I just…I don’t want you to look back on this and write it off as a weak
moment.”
Walking toward him as she slowly popped the button of her pants open, Spike
felt himself grow painfully hard when he watched the fabric slide down her
legs, leaving her in nothing but a white lace bra and panties.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured in a hoarse voice as she approached.
“This isn’t a weak moment,” Buffy whispered, slipping her hands under his
shirt and pulling it over his head, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath
her fingertips as she dropped the shirt to the floor and let her hands trail
along his chest. “This is about living for the moment.”
Spike felt himself trying to breathe when she took his hand and led him over
to the bed.
“I want this, Spike,” she said softly, her eyes never leaving his while she
slowly lowered the zipper of his jeans and unbuttoned them before pushing
them over his slender hips and letting them fall to the floor. “I want
you.”
Bringing his lips to hers in a tender kiss, Spike closed his eyes. This was
the way it should be. This was how it was supposed to be.
“I love you,” he whispered as his hands ran up and down her arms in a
soothing gesture.
“I know,” she said with a soft smile. “And that’s why I want to do this
now. Spike, I could die tomorrow and-“
“Stop,” he growled. “Just stop saying that. Nothing is going to happen to
you.”
“I’m the Slayer,” she murmured, looking into his eyes. “Eventually
something is going to happen to me and…you need to be ready for that.” She
paused for a moment as she studied his expression before continuing, “Or
maybe I shouldn’t make this worse,” she finished in a small voice, turning
around to grab her clothes.
Feeling Spike’s hand on her arm, she turned and breathed a sigh of relief
when he pulled her into his arms, claiming her lips in a passionate kiss.
Buffy moaned as he pushed her toward the bed, following closely behind and
covering her body with his, never letting his lips leave hers.
Buffy shifted beneath him, craving his touch as she parted her legs and
sighing when she felt Spike settle between her thighs, only a tiny scrap of
fabric
separating them as they began to move together.
Her tongue stroked against his, eagerly taking what he had to offer before
pulling away breathlessly.
“What are you doing to me?” he rasped in a husky whisper, looking into her
clouded eyes.
Buffy couldn’t answer. She simply wrapped her hands behind his neck and
pulled him lower, crushing his lips to hers. His hands traveled along her
body, touching any skin he could come in contact with while his hips ground
against hers. Her hands ran along his back, feeling the tight muscles
shifting under her touch.
Spike’s lips broke away from hers, moving along her jaw and settling on her
neck, feeling her pulse speed up as he gently licked his previous bite mark.
“Spike,” she whispered, her voice filled with need as she angled her neck
toward his lips.
“I will, kitten,” he murmured, sending chills running through her. “If it’s
what you want, I’ll give it to you…but not yet.”
Moaning in disappointment, it was quickly replaced with a breathy gasp when
she felt his hands slip around her and unclasp her bra before removing it
and throwing it over his shoulder. Breathing heavily, Buffy’s eyes met his
when his fingers trailed along her breasts. He gave her a gentle smile as
he lowered his head, sucking and biting on one until Buffy was practically
writhing beneath him. Reaching around to the slope of her lower back, Spike
pulled her closer, grinding his erection against her and moaning when Buffy
eagerly rubbed herself against him in response.
Maneuvering his hands, his fingers slipped into her panties and pulled them
down her legs before slowly making his way back up her body. Buffy pulled
him to her for another kiss, reaching down to gently take his cock in her
hand, guiding him to her entrance.
Spike wanted their first time to be as gentle as possible, easing into her with
care. He wanted to show her how much he loved her and worshipped her, but his
body had different ideas. Pushing into her, he could already feel Buffy losing
control, and that nearly sent him over the edge. Teasing her for a moment, Spike
smiled when Buffy reached around and pulled him to her more forcefully, grinding
her hips against his and crying out as waves of pleasure washed over her.
Speeding up his thrusts, Spike began pumping into her, knowing that she was
getting frustrated. He could feel her hands grabbing at him, seeking her climax,
but nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of her teeth sinking into
his neck. Unable to control himself, his demon flashed to the surface, letting
his fangs pierced her flesh, taking deep pulls on her blood as Buffy screamed
out her orgasm.
Thrusting into her several more times, Spike tried to hold off a little
longer, but the quivering of her inner muscles around him was driving him
crazy with need. With every slow pull of her blood, another climax seemed
to crash into her and he knew he couldn’t hold off anymore. As his fangs
slipped out of her neck, Spike pulsed inside of her welcoming body.
“Mine,” he growled, looking at Buffy. Her hand came up to slowly travel
over the planes of his demon face before she gave him an exhausted nod.
“Yours.”
Collapsing on top of her, Spike’s demon slipped away as they both tried to
calm down.
“How did you do that?” Buffy murmured, breathing heavily.
“Do what, luv?”
“That was just…wow,” she breathed with a slight smile.
Spike chuckled, sending low vibrations through her neck.
“I’m yours?” she asked timidly.
Spike pulled back with a questioning look, wondering if she was regretting
it now that there were a few moments of clarity separating them from the
situation.
“Forever,” he said with uncertainty in his voice.
“I can live with that.”
Spike watched her drift off to sleep as he waited for the feeling to sweep
through him. He’d never claimed anyone, but he knew how it worked. There
was supposed to be a strong connection that was established that went beyond
anything in the human world. Knowing that Buffy reciprocated the claim, it
should have been fairly obvious that it took effect. He continued to wait
for several long moments, frowning when he didn’t feel anything.
A/N The song - ‘Helplessly, Hopelessly, Recklessly’ is sung by Jessica Andrews.
Chapter 25 – Helplessly, Hopelessly…
Gently trailing a hand along the smooth expanse of her stomach, Spike smiled
as he watched her sleep. She was so innocent when she didn’t have any
worries. One hand folded under her cheek, the other resting on his arm as
if she was trying to subconsciously reassure herself that he was really
there.
Tenderly brushing a kiss along her forehead, Spike had to stop the onslaught
of emotions from pouring out of him. “I love you,” he breathed in a
whisper.
“Mmm, love you,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.
Spike’s eyes widened at her words.
“Buffy?” he asked a little louder, wanting to know if she was awake.
When there was no reply, he had to shake his head to clear it of her words.
“Just dreaming,” he muttered. “It didn’t mean anything.”
Even though he wanted to believe that to save himself from the potential
pain she could cause him, he knew that he’d already let her in. He’d
claimed her. The demon saw her as his mate. And even though he knew that
she could cause him pain, a stronger part of him was aware that she knew
what she was doing. She wasn’t just a girl- she was also the Slayer, and if
she didn’t want him to bite her, he never would have. Not just the fact
that she could have stopped him, but Spike knew that he never would have
bitten her. It was entirely consensual, and that gave it an even deeper
meaning.
“Spike?” Buffy whispered, slowly stretching her arms above her head and
giving him a glorious view of her taut body.
Opening her eyes to his hungry gaze and watching as he ran his tongue along
his bottom lip, Buffy had to giggle before pulling the sheet up to her chest
and rolling on her side.
“You look like you’re about to devour me.”
“Wrong choice of words, pet,” he replied with a teasing smile, brushing the
hair out of her face.
Buffy snuggled into his chest with a contented sigh. “What are we doing
tonight?” she asked, looking up at him and batting her eyelashes as Spike
chuckled.
“Oh, I’ve got plenty of plans,” he said with a raised eyebrow and lopsided
smirk.
“Not that,” Buffy said, smacking him on the chest, laughing at the wounded
look that seemed to cross over Spike’s face. “Okay, yes…that, too. But I
was kind of hoping we could do something else.”
“Like what?”
“Bronzing.”
“You have got to be kidding me,” Spike said with a laugh.
“Please,” Buffy begged, sitting up and leaning over his body to give him a
soft kiss. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
“How so?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well,” she said, biting her lip as she looked at the ceiling, pretending to
debate the answer. “I could…wear my favorite leather pants.”
Spike nearly groaned at the thought of her body slick with sweat as she
swayed her hips to the beat of whatever song might be playing, the leather
clinging to her skin as she moved.
“What else you got?” he asked, grinning as her eyes widened before a
secretive smile played on her lips.
“I was thinking about my red halter with the draped neckline and the two
strings that tie around my neck.”
Involuntarily breathing, Spike’s pupils dilated as a stronger wave of desire
ran through him.
“Of course…if you don’t want to go…I can always find someone else to keep me
company,” she said with a shrug, throwing the sheet away from her body and
moving to get out of the bed when she heard a loud growl come from Spike,
seconds before she found herself pinned under a very aroused and jealous
vampire.
“You’re mine,” he said in a forceful whisper, narrowing his eyes when Buffy
giggled.
“Does that mean you’re coming with me?”
“Bloody right I am!”
* * * * *
True to her word, Buffy was dressed in skintight black leather pants and a
red halter, dancing with her friends under Spike’s watchful eye. She was
doing a great job keeping the beat, considering she couldn’t hear it, and
Spike was definitely enjoying the way her body was moving.
He prowled around the floor, much like he did the first night he’d seen her,
only this time it was to keep a protective watch over her and make sure none
of the pillocks dancing near her were getting any ideas.
“Do you love her?”
Turning at the sound of the familiar voice, Spike was moderately surprised
when he saw Xander standing behind him.
“I do,” he said with a slight nod.
“Then I guess I’ll learn to live with it.”
Spike’s eyes widened in shock. “The lady of the house tell you to say
that?” he asked with a smirk.
“Why would you say that?” Xander asked, avoiding his eyes.
Spike merely raised an eyebrow until the other man sighed in defeat.
“Anya threatened to withhold all sexual favors until I, and I quote, ‘stop
acting like a pain in the ass and grow up already’,” he said, shoving his
hands in his pockets and looking at the floor sheepishly.
Spike laughed before seeing the band taking a break and setting up the sound
system for some slower songs. With a nod to the other man, he quickly made
his way through the crowd of dancers, nodding at Willow
and Tara as he
passed before wrapping his arms securely around Buffy’s waist.
Turning around in his embrace, Buffy smiled and brought her hands up to
clasp around his neck, moving with Spike’s body as the familiar slow song
filled the club.
“Sing to me,” Buffy whispered, snuggling into his chest.
“What?” Spike asked with a smile.
“You’re the only one I can hear…please sing to me.”
Pulling her closer, Spike listened to the opening notes before singing.
“I can stand with the weight of the world
On my shoulders
I can fight with the toughest of the tough
I can laugh in the face
Of all my insecurities
Anytime, anywhere, anything
I'm strong enough
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love
So let consequence do what it will to us
I don't care
Let the stars stand as witness to it all
Say the word and tonight I will follow you anywhere
I just can't pretend anymore
I'm too sturdy to fall
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love
I am not afraid
I am not afraid
'Cause when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling...
Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly falling
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love.”
Subtly trying to wipe the tears from her eyes as she pulled away, Buffy was
amazed at the force of emotions that Spike seemed to invoke in the words.
“You okay, luv?” he asked in concern.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “We, um…we better go…patrol.”
Spike felt a chill run through him. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea
tonight,” he said, tensing up as the uneasy feeling crept through him.
“Spike, I have to,” she said, trailing a hand over his cheek. “But if you’d
rather not go, I’ll understand.”
“No!” he said more forcefully than he intended, causing Buffy to jump. “I
mean…I’ll go.”
Placing his hand on the small of her back, Spike led her through the club
and out the exit door. He had a bad feeling about this.
Chapter 26 – …Reckless
Walking through the cemetery, Spike kept all of his senses on guard. Buffy
was practically giddy after having her first night of real fun out with her
friends since she lost her hearing. She was jumping around, still hyped up
from spending time with her friends in a non-slaying capacity. He couldn’t
help but be happy for her, but right now he was more concerned with the
uneasy feeling that he couldn’t seem to get rid of.
“We should really do this more often,” she said with a bright smile.
“Although, staying at your place does have its advantages,” she added with a
coy look that Spike didn’t even have time to enjoy as he scanned the
surrounding area.
“Luv, we’ve made a few passes. What do you say we call it a night?” he
asked hopefully, trying to keep his tone neutral.
“Well, you’re certainly Mr. Crabby,” she teased, poking him in the ribs.
“I mean it, Buffy.”
“Spike, it’s my job,” she said, turning toward him, her brow furrowed in
concern. “But if you’re ready to call it a night, I won’t hold it against
you.”
“No,” he said in a low voice, looking into her eyes.
“Spike-“
“Not leaving you alone, pet. Don’t even ask.”
“What’s with you tonight? You were fine at the Bronze, and ever since I said
I needed to patrol, you’ve been jumpy.”
“Haven’t been jumpy,” he protested. “It just doesn’t feel like a night
for patrolling, that’s all.”
“If there are vamps out, then that means it’s a night for patrolling…present
company excluded, of course.”
“Look, why don’t I drop you off and let you spend some time with your mum
and I’ll make a few more rounds?”
“I can’t let you do that,” she said with a smile, touched by the generous
offer.
“Why not?” he asked in frustration.
“And we’re back to- ‘it’s my job’.”
Turning toward her, Spike gently touched her cheek, trying to convey
everything he felt for her through his eyes. “You’re not just the Slayer,”
he whispered. “You’re also a girl who deserves to have a night to herself
and you should spend it with your family.”
“That’s sweet, but-“
“Buffy, just do this for me.”
“Spike…”
Her eyes widened for a brief second before she clutched at his arms, trying
to remain standing upright.
“Buffy?” he said, looking at her in confusion.
Gasping for air, she reached behind her back and flinched before holding up
a tranquilizer dart, her eyes widening.
Spike barely had a chance to react before they were attacked. Vamping out
when Buffy was practically ripped from his grasp by four men wearing all
black combat gear and ski masks, Spike snarled and immediately began
fighting the remaining five who were trying to keep him away.
Throwing punches and kicks as hard as he could, he ignored the pain
exploding in his brain, having only one thought running through his head-
get to Buffy.
“Spike!” she screamed, trying to get back to him, but the drugs were soon
taking effect and she felt herself tiring, easily overpowered by the other
men.
Seeing Spike fighting the remaining five, her eyes widened when she saw the
blood gushing from his nose, knowing that the chip must be going crazy.
“Buffy!”
Still semi-conscious, Buffy felt herself hoisted into the air, and her brain
could barely function enough to understand the only sound she could hear-
the sound of Spike’s voice.
“Spike,” she whispered weakly, seeing him fade into the distance before she
was unceremoniously thrown into the back of a van.
Fighting against the pain, Spike felt as if his head was going to explode.
Taking another hard hit, he slammed his fist into the closest person he
could come in contact with, putting every amount of force behind his fist
before he collapsed to his knees. Feeling the world slipping away, her
voice was still ringing in his ears.
“Buffy.”
* * * * *
“You didn’t tell us that she would have a vampire trying to defend her,” the
man said, dropping the Slayer in a heap on the floor. “It would have been
nice to have the heads-up before going into that.”
“You took care of him?” the other voice asked.
“We didn’t have any stakes, but something happened to make him grow weak.
We left him where he was. With any luck, he’ll be meeting the sunrise.”
“Good.”
* * * * *
“Giles!” Spike yelled, bursting through the door of the Watcher’s house. He
didn’t know how long he’d been out, but he knew that every second was
crucial. “Giles!”
Frantically running through the short hallway, Giles froze when he saw the
blood pouring out of the vampire’s nose, spilling down his shirt and onto
the floor.
“Spike, what happened?” he asked, handing him a towel.
“Buffy. Someone took Buffy,” he said, nearly collapsing against a stool as
he remembered the fear in her eyes, and the pain continued to overwhelm him-
both physical and emotional. “They took her,” he said in a low whisper,
letting his head fall into his hands. “They took her.”
“Who?” Giles asked, getting over his shock. “Who took her, Spike?”
“I don’t know! They were human. Wore masks, shot her with a tranquilizer
and loaded her into the back of a van.”
“Dear Lord,” Giles muttered. “And you fought them? You fought, even with
the chip?”
“I tried,” he whispered, feeling the despair setting in as the tears began
to fall down his cheeks. “But I couldn’t get to her…God, I couldn’t get to
her.”
“I’ll call everyone. We need to formulate a plan,” he said, the Watcher
side of him kicking in as he made his way for the phone before turning back
to face the distressed man. “We’ll get her back, Spike,” Giles said in a
soothing tone that only he seemed to have. “We will.”
A/N For those of you who don’t know, Joss chose ‘Lehane’ to be Faith’s last name for comic books and merchandising a few months ago. I thought it should be mentioned because I use the name in this chapter.
Chapter 27 – Prophetic Future
Slowly opening her eyes, Buffy repressed the groan of pain as she looked
around the dank room. She realized that she was in a basement somewhere and
her arms were chained to a wall on each side of her. Testing the chains for
a moment, Buffy gritted her teeth when she felt another presence in the
room. Both unfamiliar and unforgettable at the same time.
“I should have known it would be you,” Buffy said through clenched teeth,
turning toward the shadowy figure. There was only one person who could
cause the intense reaction that she was having, and he was currently walking
into the light where she could see him. “You’ve tried to kill me twice
already. It figures you would think the third time is the charm.”
“It would have been,” Quentin Travers said, pacing lazily in front of her.
“If you didn’t have such a resistance to the venom.”
Against her better judgment, Buffy knew she had to ask. “What venom?”
“Did you happen to research the demon that you fought?”
“I’ve fought a lot of demons. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say I’ve fought
hundreds, so you’re going to have to narrow down that list a little bit,
Jeeves.”
Resisting the urge to backhand the Slayer, Travers continued, “The Tacora
demon.”
“Leave it to you to not be able to kidnap anyone the right way,” Buffy
said, rolling her eyes. “I should have known that you were planning on
boring me to death. Can I request something a little quicker?”
“Oh, don’t worry, Miss Summers. The pain will come in time. But the fact
remains…did you research the demon?”
“What’s the difference? Whether I did or not, you’ll just tell me the same
thing anyway, so get on with it.”
Tightening his jaw at the insolent Slayer, Travers stared at her for a
moment. “What do you remember about the night you lost your hearing?”
“Fought a demon, got hit real hard, fell down, lost hearing,” she said as if
she was talking to an idiot, a bored expression on her face the entire time.
“No pain in your arm? No strange side effects?”
“I’m deaf. I’d call that a strange side effect.”
“No screams?”
Buffy paused, remembering the shrill screams that reverberated through her
head. “What are you getting at, Travers?”
“The Tacora demon is supremely intelligent,” Travers said, resuming his slow
pacing, making it harder for Buffy to read his lips. “It is a demon that
prefers to be paid for its work. Especially when the work is to take out
the Slayer.”
Her eyes widened a fraction when she remembered the slight pain in her arm,
seconds before the powerful blow that the demon had given her. “You
injected something into me,” she said, her eyes flashing in anger. “Why?”
“A number of reasons,” Travers said, giving her a hard look. “Not the least
of which being how much I dislike you.”
“I guess that’s fair. If I didn’t have a conscience, I would have killed
you years ago,” Buffy said, tilting her head in boredom. “Reason number
two?”
“I want the Slayer line back.”
“Aww, does poor little Quent miss having a job to do?” she asked with a
small pout, nearly smiling when he started to approach her.
‘Just try it,’ she thought. ‘You’ll wish you’d chained my legs when I’m
breaking your back.’
Realizing that it wouldn’t be in his wisest interest, Quentin stayed away
from her.
“I always hated you,” he said, narrowing his eyes.
“And you know why?” Buffy challenged in a low, calm voice as she stared him
down. “Because I’m the strongest Slayer you’ve ever known and that scares
the hell out of you.”
“Always were the cocky one, weren’t you, Miss Summers?”
“Not cocky. I just know my strength. And something tells me that there’s a
bigger reason for your elaborate plan. Why go through all this? I’ve been
a Slayer for six years. Surely you must know that I can’t last forever.
And Faith is safely tucked away in prison.”
“Yes, Miss Lehane will prove to be more of a challenge,” he replied. “But I
have confidence in our resources.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I just told you,” he said with a cold gaze. “I want my line back and I’m
willing to go through any means to get it.”
“You’re going after Faith,” she whispered almost to herself. “Why?” she
asked again. “What’s the big payoff for you, Travers?”
“A prophecy.”
“My favorite word,” Buffy replied sarcastically. “So what’s the ‘Prophecy
Book for Dummies’ say this time? I’m going to die? I’m going to turn evil
and blow up the Watcher’s Council? Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have to
be evil to do that.”
“Tell me, Miss Summers, how is your relationship with the vampire population
these days?”
“Fairly short-term,” she said with a raised eyebrow, trying to suppress the
smirk on her lips. “They just never seem to stick around the morning after.
Always blaming it on the sunrise, but I think they just have commitment issues.”
“Clever girl,” he muttered. “I’ll get right to the point. Judging from the
research on you, there are only two vampires in your life- Angelus and
William the Bloody.”
“Wrong,” Buffy said, her voice ringing out and echoing in the loud room as
she turned her head and checked her nails, putting more pressure on her
chains without drawing attention to herself, before looking back at him.
“First of all, it’s Angel and Spike. Secondly, Angel is in Los
Angeles.
Maybe you should get a better group of researchers because that’s fairly
common news.”
“Yes,” Travers practically purred. “And this…Spike?” he said, spitting out
the words. “Tell me…have you engaged in a sexual relationship with him?”
“Explain to me how that’s your business?”
“When you could be pregnant with the child of a vampire, we make it our
business.”
This finally seemed to get Buffy’s undivided attention. “What?”
“Yes. It seems that the prophecy in question mentions the birth of a baby,
born of the Slayer and vampire who will-“
“Let me guess- who will bring light to the world or cloak it in darkness.”
“Something like that. How did you know?” Travers asked skeptically.
“It’s a little thing called using your brain. Try it sometime, Quenty.
There’s obviously something in your body that needs uncorking.”
“Careful,” he said in a low voice. “You’re starting to sound like Miss
Lehane.”
“And how do you know it’s not Faith you should be looking for with this
prophecy? The last time I saw her, she and Angel were looking pretty cozy.
For all I know, he’s been make conjugal visits to the prison.”
Surprisingly, this thought didn’t unsettle Buffy the way she thought it
would have.
“That’s why we’re going after her as well. We can’t have a child walking
around that could be the end of humanity.”
“Bullshit,” Buffy replied in a low voice. “You don’t give a damn about the
end of humanity. You’re worried a future child of the Slayer would put you
out of a job.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked in a gruff voice.
“Admit it, Travers,” she continued. “A child of a vampire and a Slayer
would be nearly unstoppable. That’s why they make prophecies about them and
it’s not the natural thing that happens. If that happens, the Watcher’s
Council will cease to exist. Especially considering you had two Slayers and
your current record is zero for two.”
“Just because we were dealt two stubborn and willful Slayers does not mean
that the line can’t change.”
“Better men, or more accurately, creatures, have tried to kill me,” she said,
setting her jaw. “You really think you have a chance?”
“I do,” he replied, extracting a gun from behind his back and aiming it at
Buffy’s abdomen before pulling the trigger.
* * * * *
“We need to know everything you’re feeling, Spike,” Giles said, keeping a
close eye on the vampire. “You said that Buffy could sense you when you
were in pain after Riley attacked you. It’s significant to know everything
that she might be going through.”
“I can’t…I’m not feeling anything,” Spike said miserably. “Don’t know
if…bloody hell,” he groaned, clutching his stomach and feeling a dull pain
radiate through his body.
“What?” Giles asked frantically. “What is it?”
“She’s in pain, Giles,” Spike whispered, closing his eyes when he felt a
fraction of the agony that Buffy was in.
Giles’ eyes widened, realizing how much she must be hurting considering
Spike had just called him by his actual name. “We’ll get to her,” he said,
looking over at Willow
as she and Tara continued to work on the spell.
* * * * *
Buffy gasped for air as she looked at her stomach, seeing the tranquilizer
dart that was imbedded in her abdomen. “What-“
Not even able to finish the question before a stinging sensation spread
through her.
“I’m sure you’re wondering what I’ve just injected into you,” Travers said,
walking toward her and quickly pulling out the dart before stepping out of
her reach.
Buffy refused to admit the extent of pain that she was in as she opened her
eyes to look at the smug man, realizing a moment later that she could hear
him. She could hear everything in the room- the slight rattling of the
chains around her wrists, the distant dripping of water and the creaking of
the house.
“I’ve given you something to effectively incapacitate you while I prepare the
final dose of venom. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, this has also inadvertently
counteracted your hearing loss,” he said with a distant smile. “Don’t get too
excited. I’ll be back shortly with your final dose.”
Buffy watched him leave, feeling her legs give out as she hung limply from
the chains, her body trying to curl into itself to get away from the burning
that was running through it. A sense of dread threatened to overwhelm
her, but it was slightly alleviated as she listened to sounds she never
thought she’d hear again.
Chapter 28 – Never Again
“Rise and shine, Miss Summers.”
Wading through the fogginess and pain that seemed to be weighing her down,
Buffy managed to open her eyes. “Go to hell,” she rasped through gritted
teeth, glaring at Travers.
Refusing to be intimidated by the hypodermic needle he was holding, she
raised her eyes to the smug-looking man.
“Perhaps this dose will be a little more effective.”
“Why the hell are you telling me this?” Buffy asked, struggling to focus
through the burning sensation that was still flowing through her veins.
“I just assumed you would like to know that your time is being cut short
even more than planned,” he said with a maniacal smile.
“Or you’re just afraid that I’ve built up a tolerance to it,” she said,
looking at him through glazed eyes. “Why not just take my strength away and
have me fight a vampire? Oh wait…you already tried that. And why test the
Slayer, anyway?” she asked, feeling the need to take him down as many
notches as she could. “If she’s not smart or cunning enough to make it in
the field, she’ll die. If her powers are stripped away, she’ll die anyway.
Why willingly want to kill these girls? Maybe it’s because you’re a
sadistic son of a bitch. Maybe you’re just bored. Or maybe you just have
an inferiority complex when it comes to a bunch of teenage girls. No matter
how you look at it, you’re really in the wrong line of work.”
Angrily walking toward her, Travers jerked her arm toward him, as much as
the chains would allow. Knowing that this was her only chance and he was
counting on her being weakened by the previous dose of venom, Buffy summoned up
every amount of strength that she could.
Grabbing the chains, she hoisted herself into the air, ignoring the
agonizing explosion of burning pain that seemed to run through her as she
jerked her legs up to wrap around his arm, easily snapping the bone before
using the momentum of the chains to propel her around, her foot connecting a
sharp blow to his head.
Just as quickly as it came, the adrenaline flowed out of her body, leaving
her to sag against the chains. She could feel herself about to pass out
but was grateful when she saw that she had successfully incapacitated
Travers for the time being.
“Spike,” she whispered, seconds before passing out.
* * * * *
“Where the bloody hell is it?” Spike growled, following closely behind
Willow and Tara
as they walked past several vacant houses.
“We don’t know, Spike,” Tara
said gently.
“The spell only leads us here. She’s close, but there’s something keeping
us from finding the exact place. It must be a counter spell,” Willow added.
“Is she still in pain?” Giles asked, causing Spike to turn around and look
at him as the Watcher trailed behind with Xander, Anya, and Riley, who
insisted on coming.
“I…I don’t think she’s conscious.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s dull…almost nonexistent.”
Riley was staying surprisingly quiet throughout the interaction.
“Tune into her,” Anya spoke up, looking around the old neighborhood.
“What do you think I’ve been doing?” Spike asked in exasperation, turning
around to look at her.
“I think you’re feeling what she’s feeling. I’m telling you to tune into
her.”
“What are you on about?”
“She can hear you, right?” Anya asked.
“Yeah…what of it?”
“How long has that been happening?”
“Since we started patrolling together,” Spike replied, his brow furrowed as
he tried to realize what the ex-demon was saying.
“And you haven’t figured it out?” she asked with a slight smile. “Men.
You’re all the same. You live over a hundred years and you’re still
clueless to figure out what’s been going on.”
“Enlighten me,” Spike muttered, looking from house to house, trying to focus
on Buffy.
“You placed an unconscious claim on her,” she said matter-of-factly, not
noticing that everyone was looking at her in shock. “It led to her being
able to hear you because mates need to have some form of strong
communication. To the best of my knowledge, the claim has never occurred
between a Slayer and vampire, and I’m assuming if she’s reciprocated, it’s
gotten even stronger.”
“What do you mean 'stronger'?” Spike asked, his mouth slightly open in shock.
“You felt strongly about her and she was able to hear you. If she feels the
same and it’s a two-way street, you should be able to pick up on what she’s
thinking if you concentrate hard enough.”
“Can she do the same?”
“Eventually,” Anya said. “I don’t know if a claim has ever been this
strong, but since you are both superhuman, it’s not surprising. I’m more
surprised that you haven’t figured it out before now.”
“I’ve been researching this for weeks and you lay it out in less than five
minutes,” Giles said in exasperation, his eyes wide as he looked at Anya.
“How do you know all this?”
“You live a thousand years, you pick up a lot. It’s not my fault no one
ever asked me what was going on.”
Spike was nearly numb with the revelations he’d been dealt. ‘The <i>strong</i>
aspect of the claim didn’t take effect, because I’d already claimed her-
that’s how she was able to hear me,’ he thought, finally letting everything
fall into place. ‘Buffy shared the claim, and we were more firmly bonded,
but that’s why I didn’t feel anything go through me the night we made love.’
As Spike was about to put the theory to the test, he suddenly caught a
familiar scent, drifting toward him. Breaking into a run and leaving the
rest of the group behind, he ran toward an old abandoned Victorian mansion
at the end of the street.
Saying a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the house was as
vacant as it looked, Spike kicked in the door and hesitantly stepped
through, breathing a sigh of relief when he passed through the doorway with
no interference. He could hear the group running to catch up with him, but
he was already heading toward the kitchen, following Buffy’s scent. Seeing
a door to his left, he practically ripped it off its hinges in his haste to
fly down the stairs.
Pausing for a moment at the foot of the stairs, Spike felt the bile rise in
his throat when he saw Buffy’s limp form hanging from the chains secured in
the stone walls. Seeing a man at her feet with a syringe in his hand, he
had never felt the urge to kill more than in that moment.
‘She’s not dead,’ he thought, trying to reassure himself as he ran over to
her. ‘I would have felt it…she’s not dead.’
Kicking the man away, Spike scooped up her body, growling at the rattling of
the chains before listening for her heartbeat. After a tense few seconds,
he finally picked up on the weak thumping inside her chest. Fighting the
demon for dominance, Spike was able to keep his human mask in place as the
demon howled to come to the surface and check on its mate.
“Buffy,” Spike whispered, praying for an answer.
“Spike?”
Turning at the sound of Giles’ voice, Spike merely gestured to the man on
the floor and then at the chains bolted into the wall.
Giles quickly made his way over to the man as the rest of the group clamored
down the stairs, each coming to an abrupt stop when they saw the scene
before them.
“Dear Lord.”
Everyone turned toward Giles, who was staring in shock at Travers.
“I should have known,” he mumbled before searching for the key to the
manacles. Finding it in his coat pocket, Giles jumped up and quickly
unlocked the shackles from around her wrists, seeing the small trails of
blood from where it bit into her skin, presumably from attempts she’d made
to free herself.
This time, when the group approached, Spike did let out a warning growl,
letting the demon flash to the surface as he held Buffy close.
Satisfied when they stayed back, he let the demon fall away as he
checked on the woman in his arms.
“Buffy?” he whispered. “Buffy, luv, open your eyes.”
“Spike?” she murmured, her voice laced with pain as she tried to open her
eyes.
“I’m here,” he said softly, watching her face contort in agony.
“Where were you?” she asked deliriously, not knowing if it was really him
that she was looking at. “I thought you’d come for me.”
“I’m here now,” he whispered tearfully, holding her close.
“Don’t let him hurt me anymore,” she said in a barely coherent whisper as
she weakly clutched at his jacket.
“Never again,” Spike said in a choked voice. “No one will hurt you again.”
Chapter 29 - Revelations
Running a hand over her hair, Spike stared at Buffy as she rested peacefully
on her couch. Joyce sat on the arm, keeping a close eye on her daughter and
watching the blonde as he tenderly kept constant contact with Buffy.
Almost immediately after he’d carried her out of the house, she had passed
out from the pain. Spike felt helpless to do anything for her. All he
wanted to do was curl up next to her and make everything okay, but he knew
that wasn’t possible.
Willow, Tara,
Xander, and Anya were dispersed around the room, quietly
observing Spike as he looked after Buffy. A police officer stood in the
corner, waiting for the young woman to wake up so he could take a
statement.
Riley and Giles were at the police station, making sure that Travers was
going to be properly punished for kidnapping and attempted murder. When he
had regained consciousness, he had made numerous threats and promises, but
they did nothing to intimidate Giles, who was more than happy to make a few
threats of his own.
Feeling Buffy’s hand move beneath his, Spike pulled back and watched as she
struggled to open her eyes.
“You’re safe, luv,” he whispered when she looked around the room in
confusion.
Feeling his soothing touch on her hand, she pulled away from his grasp,
immediately sorry for her hasty reaction when she saw the hurt look on his
features.
“Are you okay, honey?” Joyce asked, touching Buffy’s shoulder.
“I guess,” she admitted, letting her head fall into her hands and not seeing
the looks that were being exchanged throughout the room.
“Miss Summers,” the officer said, alerting her to the presence of the
outsider. “I’m Officer Reynolds with the Sunnydale PD. I’m here to ask you
a few questions.”
“About what?” Buffy asked skeptically, her brow furrowed as she looked
around the room at the faces of her friends.
“The kidnapping,” Spike said, looking at her with a mixture of concern
and sadness.
“Right,” she murmured, turning her attention to the officer. “What do you
need to know?”
After answering the routine questions and watching Joyce escort the
policeman outside, Buffy was suddenly bombarded with what felt like a
hundred questions. After not being able to hear for so long, this was
overwhelming.
“Guys!” she interrupted in exasperation, glancing at the door as Joyce
walked in with Giles and Riley. “I’m okay.”
“But you were tortured,” Anya ever-so-bluntly said.
“I just need some rest,” she said softly, standing up and frowning slightly
when Spike stood up with her.
“Can you hear?” he asked, tilting his head to look at her.
“I can,” she whispered, looking at Giles as she spoke. “Travers injected me
with something…h-he said that the demon injected me with a venom that was
supposed to kill me and had a strange reaction since I was the Slayer.”
“I already got the full story from him, Buffy.”
“You did?” she asked in confusion.
“That and a great deal of screams before we turned him in to the
authorities.”
Feeling a mild amount of satisfaction, Buffy nodded. “He gave me something
that counteracted the effects, although it was meant to incapacitate me while
he got close enough to kill me…I need to get some rest,” she mumbled, glancing
toward the window and seeing the sun shining around the edges of the heavy
curtains.
Painfully walking toward the stairs, Buffy was already halfway up when she
realized she was being followed. Stopping on the second floor, she bit her
bottom lip, not bothering to turn around.
“I want to be alone, Spike,” she whispered.
“Don’t always get the things we want,” he retaliated, taking her arm and
leading her to her bedroom.
“Spike, please,” she said with a sigh.
Shutting the door behind them, he crossed his arms over his muscular chest
and leaned against the wall. “What now?” he asked, an angry expression
on his face.
“W-what do you mean?” she asked nervously.
“You have your hearing back, so you’re just going to start shutting me out
whenever you feel like it?”
Looking up into his eyes, Buffy felt remorse fill her before turning and
walking toward the bed. “What do you want from me?” she asked tearfully as
she turned to face him again.
Pushing away from the wall, Spike crossed the room until he was standing in
front of her. “You,” he said with so much emotion, she felt her tears spill
over.
“There’s just so much that’s happened,” she said softly, looking at the
floor so she wouldn’t have to be confronted by his piercing eyes.
“Then talk to me,” he whispered. “What’s happening, Buffy?”
“There was a prophecy,” she said after a moment, glancing up at him. “It
mentions a Slayer and
a vampire having a baby.”
Noticing how Spike’s eyes lit up, Buffy backed away.
“What’s the problem?”
“Spike, I’m nineteen years old. I’m not ready to be a mother, and by the
time I am ready, I’ll probably die before I see a baby take its first
steps.”
“Buffy-“
“And don’t say I won’t. I’m human, Spike,” she whispered. “That’s the way
the world works. I’m not meant to last long. My body isn’t designed to
hold up until I die of old age. It’s not like it would be a good thing to
have a seventy year old Slayer walking around.”
Choosing to ignore her diatribe on her own life, Spike took a deep breath.
“You’re worried about getting pregnant with my child? Well, I’ve gotta
admit, that’s one I haven’t heard,” he said with a smirk. “Aren’t there
things to counteract something like that?”
“Spike, it’s a prophecy. It’s not like I can just whip out a condom and
expect it to take care of everything. This thing is practically written in
blood, and if it’s about me…”
“If it’s about you, it’s going to happen, Goldilocks,” he murmured
soothingly. “Don’t shut me out…because I’m bloody well not going to let
you.”
Sniffling slightly, Buffy pulled him to her for a desperate kiss,
practically battling with him as she slid the duster from his shoulders.
“Luv?” he said in a questioning voice, pulling away from her to see the need
in her gaze.
“You’re right,” she said, taking a step back and sliding the leather pants
down her legs before wrapping her arms around him.
“We don’t have to do this,” he whispered, barely even listening to what he
was saying as he leaned forward to kiss her.
“I need to forget about everything, Spike,” she said when she pulled back to
look at him. “Make me forget.”
Not bothering to wait for a second request, Spike lifted her into his arms
and simultaneously freed himself from his increasingly restrictive pants.
“Please,” she murmured, seconds before he thrust into her, pushing her
against the wall for leverage and eagerly crushing his lips to hers.
Pumping into her with such force, he was starting to worry about her safety,
Buffy’s lips broke away from his as she gasped for more, needing everything
he was offering.
She could already feel herself spiraling out of control and he’d barely been
inside her for a minute.
“I need more,” she moaned, digging her nails into his shoulders as he
grinded his hips against hers.
Never hearing the knock on the door as her body seemed to shatter, Buffy
sunk her teeth into his shoulder to muffle her scream, vaguely realizing
when Spike’s blunt teeth covered his previous mark and sent her into a
second orgasm as he pulsed inside of her.
“Buffy.”
“Spike!”
“Hope I’m not interrupting,” a cold voice announced from the doorway.
Turning to look over his shoulder, Spike rolled his eyes. “Bloody hell,” he
muttered. “For your information you are, now get out.”
Feeling Buffy squirming in his arms to be let down upon seeing
Riley, Spike suddenly felt an uneasy feeling wash over him.
“Buffy?” Spike asked, tilting his head to look at her in concern.
“I need to get dressed,” she whispered, giving him a soft smile and
squeezing his hand in reassurance.
Letting her down and zipping up his pants, Spike turned toward the door.
“Can’t you knock?” he asked angrily.
“I did,” Riley replied. “I was worried about her.”
“I’m fine, Riley,” Buffy said from behind the door of her wardrobe, slipping
on a pair of comfortable pants and exchanging the halter for a tank top.
“Can we talk?” Riley asked.
Buffy held up a hand as Spike began to respond. “I’ll be downstairs in a
minute,” she said, looking at her ex-boyfriend and already feeling Spike’s
eyes boring into her.
“So that’s it?” Spike asked, defensively crossing his arms over his chest when
the door closed.
“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.
“What? Do you think I’m just going to leave you now and go back to Riley?”
“Aren’t you?”
“You really have to work on your issues, Spike,” she said, anger making its
way into her voice. “If that was the case, you would be downstairs and he
would be up here with me.”
Walking toward the door, she felt her arm grabbed in a firm grip. Taking a
deep breath, Buffy turned and met the deep blue eyes of her lover.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I’m terrified of losing you.”
Stepping toward him, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to
her for a warm hug. “I know,” she said softly. “But you’re not going to
lose me to another guy…I need to go talk to Riley now.”
“Hypocrite,” he muttered, trying not to smile.
“Jackass,” she said with her own smile.
“Spoiled brat.”
“Billy Idol wannabe.”
“Slayer.”
“Vampire.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”